I know what I want. I need to listen to myself. Sometimes just going with the flow does not work out in the end. I’m willing to work for what I want.
He is too much of a temptation when he’s here, too much of a distraction when he’s gone, and too far away to have.
A bit of a dilemma.
I have noticed my school work paying the price for when I spend more time working on extracurricular. I am complaining about being so busy. I hate being really busy. I don’t know why I put myself in a position to be stressed and have a lot of responsibilities. I don’t aim for that. I aim for getting involved some how and taking opportunities to better myself and gain experience.
When I get involved with organizations and people I feel so bad when I can’t help out. If I become less involved and therefore have more time to work on improving my grades I will feel bad and if I continue being unable to manage between school and extra things I still end up feeling bad. I feel like I can’t think sometimes but its more like me not wanting to think of anything whatsoever.
Lately, procrastinating = down right FAILING
I hate the feeling for trying so hard for what feels like nothing.
We ate at Red Robin, had to wait a while to get a table like 30 minutes. Then we went to the dance and i was in awe of the decor very tight. they has this big mirror thing that said alice through the looking glass that was there best decoration. We waited for the whole group to come. That took a good 30 minutes. Then everyone wanted to get picture i didnt really want to get them but my date really wanted to. That sucked. The line was sooo long and we didnt come early enough so like we were at the back of the line and it took 4ever like a hour until we were done with the pictures. Then i tryed dancing but they werent playing good music for goodness sakes they played Barbie girl and the dance floor was super tiny and crowded. I found Megan and briannna sitting down so i just sat with them a caught up with them cus i like never c them anymore. so i talked to them and danced in my chair and now i feelbad for my date b/c i was kinda leaving him out of the conversation and i learned later that he wanted to dance and talk with me. And also i was keeping my eyes out for my crush and i saw him but unfortunately he didnt ask me to dance but thats ok b/c it probaly wouldve been akward cus ive never actually grinded b/f. So i saw my crush at school the next day and he said the dance was boring and he said he saw me for like 2 seconds then i was gone. Thats the problem i have with boys i like i am so shy i try to avoid them. Even simply seeing them aorund school and saying hi is hard. But he’s really nice so im going to try to accidentally bump into him after 1st period.k so thats it :)
Oh my gosh…homecoming dance junior year of high school. It’s hard to believe I typed this. This is too funny. I randomly found this while looking through old e-mails. I complained too much and was too busy thinking how lame things are to actually just relax and have fun.